My Journey of Life

Dearest all,
I have moved to a new blog:
http://throwingmusician.blogspot.com
Do relink if you need to, and you are always welcome to read. (:
God bless.

Well, i guess its time to say goodbye to this precious blog of mine.
Thank you blog, for beign with me for the past few years of my life.
I have used you to capture some of the best, most candid, and most nurturing part of my life.
Not to mention, my secondary school life.

You’ve been with me through the thick and thin, giving me an opportunity to express myself and trash my thoughts out. You’ve been a great blog. And i thank you for being what you are- A blog.

But i guess now its time to say goodbye, because i really must move on.
I have stepped into a new season of my life- Junior College.
And with that, a new blog is needed.

So thank you, and goodbye.
I’ll visit once in awhile. (:

Kudos, http://www.livin4christ.blog.com

Its quite amusing how God uses us in so many different ways.
Today, the Lord used me in a very indirectly, but very appropriate way.

          I was still quite tired from my journey back to s’pore yesterday and after taking a nap after a very nice teppanyaki lunch with my dad and grandma, i took a nap on the sofa. About 1 and a half hours later, i was awaken rather abruptly by my dad’s friend who called to tell me that he would be delivering a box of oranges. Well, i woke up, only to find that i was late, tired and irritated. Haha.

          I didnt want to wake up, i wanted to continue sleeping. I was tempted to just forget about VJ’s training and claim that im not feeling well. But being a very commited athlete, i just went for training anyway. My dad picked me up and fetched me to VJ, lamenting that he should hav asked me to go there myself. And after that, he decided to stay in VJc and just wait for me there instead of running around, wasting time and gasoline. A rather wierd decision and i was tempted to just ask him to go home and forget about it. But everytime i wanted to ask that, something stopped me. Instead, i invited him to watch me throw. lol. Not something I’d usually do.

         Well, I went for training. And i felt today’s training was quite fruitfull. I came out more of my shell and did alot of stupid stuff and asking alot of rather redundant questions during training. Just being myself. (: Got to know the Vj peeps a little more and getting to know the school a little more. As i did, i really found myself getting drawn to the school more. Like there’s a force pulling me closer to the school.

         Training was quite good today. Maybe im just getting used to the longer hours and the type of training they do. But maybe i dont appreciate it as much since they train me on the parts of my body that arent as strong because haoyi doesnt concentrate on them. Things like my legs, and back. And because they have never had such specific training, i find that im on bar with everyone else on those areas. But the only thing thats owning them is my upper body. Obviously. Haha. Thats why there’s a reason why Jing and Haoyi calls my upper body a monster.
 
         Well, Its quite good to train at Vj, actually. I have someone who’s about the same body strength as me and its good to train with her cos we help each other out and we’re both quite experienced in the same ways. Like I trust her to support me and she does trust me to support her. She can do about the same weight that i do. So it acts as a moral support. Though i dont exacly like the feeling of equalness cos i prefer to be above the rest, but i appreciate very much that she can help me out and push me as we train tgt because we’re in the same category of strength. Well, not forgetting that it comforts me she’s already in Uni. hehe.

          Anyway. After training, my dad fetched me home. During my training, i noticed that he was talking to alot of ppl. And obviously curious, i asked him who he was talking to. He shared that Mr Melvin Tan had introduced him to a PE dept teacher who then started talking to him. God opened a door when she asked my dad what he was reading (cos he was using the time to study a book on prophetism). And so, he told her that he was reading a book on prophetism for a course he was taking. And then he added that he was a pastor. The moment he said that, she opened up about herself. She asked him about God and he shared with her many things, many testimonies. and he found that she was very very open to the gospel. In fact, she was at the point that she would nearly receive the Lord.

           My dad talked to her for a very long time, sharing about Jesus and who God is to him and though i cant quite remember the contents of his conversation with her, i know this one thing that she siad to him at the end “Maybe there’s a reason why you’re sitting here talking to me today.” When he said that, i was stunned. Its just so amazing.

           Then that same lady brought another PE dept teacher to meet my dad. That new teacher is actually from TCC@PL! And so my dad talked to her and told her that he was the Dew pastor. And so She was interested to know more about Dew. And So he shared with her what DEW is about and the differnt testimonies about the many ppl that have been healed through DEW and through the power of God-all while the non-christian lady was at the side listening. And this trinitarian was open to Dew and wanted to sign up immediately! But my dad told her registration was closed and she would have to wait for the next one. Awwwww…. But she volunteered to tell her Cell leader about it. And i think, that that is amazing.

           As my dad told me all about the things that had happened to him while he was in VJ, i felt really touched. God had used my willingness to go to training to bring my dad to VJ, to touch 2 lives. One leading to receive christ, the other leading to healing in her life. God used my dad to sow the seed and touch lives of 2 ppl, in the span of 3 hrs in VJc, waiting for me. Indeed, it was time spent wisely.

          As i thought about what my dad had told me, i felt the word Destiny burn in my heart. I felt that it was the Lord tugging at my heart. And i felt and knew and know, that indeed, VJc is the Jc that God has intended for me to go.

          Well, of course i like thought in my mind that ACJC was the dream school, the place that i wanted to go so badly and be with a comfortable culture, comfortable ppl i know from both church and school. I knew that if i went to ACJC, i would be very comfortable cos i had both my sec school mates, plus church mates there. And i liked the idea of it.

           But the moment i thought of that, the Lord spoke to me and said “if i have everyone at ACJC, who will make the impact in VJC?”. And i felt very convicted. Its really amazing. Im one of the only ppl in church going to VJc, im surrounded by non-christians, open to the word of God, my teacher is looking at me to join or maybe even head the CF in Track, that PE dept trinitarian is aiming at me to pray with her for Vj, what else can i say? The Doors are opening. God is ready to move. And i must jump into the season. Cos i know that God has placed me there for a reason.

It was not by coincidence that i was invited to VJ.
It was not an accident that someone was kicked out to give me a place in DSA.
It was not a mistake when i heard from God that VJ is the school for me.
Nothing, happened by chance.
But only by the will of God.

As i pondered on all these, the Lord placed in my heart this verse:
The harvest is plenty but the workers are few.

           And i felt in my heart, this will be the verse for the new season in VJ. God has intended for me to reach out in my arena, to bless my friends in the school, to bring the christian atmosphere to a higher level, and to reach out to the ppl that need purpose in their lives.

Destiny Calls my name.
VJ, here i come. (:

Hey all.

Ive started up my new blog already, but ive yet to complete its ‘renovation’. But feel free to look there for new posts for i will start posting there instead. I have yet to complete everytrhing i want to do, but nevertheless, feel free to check it out. (: I will officially be bidding this blog goodbye, and opening my new blog on 1st Feb.

http://throwingmusician.blogspot.com

Love, Me. (:

Hey all!

           I just came back from KL from attending my… neice? ‘s wedding. Though we’ve never met. Haha. But anyway. The wedding was kinda boring but the shopping was AWESOME.

           Well… This holiday, Jumana, Myra and Magdalene have been taking me out to orchard to go shopping, throwing me lots of different kinds of clothes i usually wouldnt bother trying, and forcing me to go try them on. Haha. For some reason, i started enjoying dressing myself up. And its about time i do. Haha. I think it came/comes with age. I’m 16 going on 17, turning 20 soon. If im not gonna dress up now, then when, right? (:

            Well, I guess i really found that ive changed when i went to KL. Cos when i went shopping, i had one goal in mind- To get lady tops to wear! And i didnt look for Tees (which i would normally do) and i spent alot of time and effort and creativity to look for the lady tops. Haha. And i wasnt ashamed, nor did i think i looked wierd. But i somehow saw the fashion in what i wore, and bought them. I felt so different. So free. So real.

So… Guess what?

She’s a Lady.
She’s finally a lady. (:

            

My BMI is 32.66!
And im OBESE!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!
How inaccurate.
Tell me, how does an obese person complete NAPHA with full points?
Obese…
HAHAHAHAHHA!
 
I love being an athlete. ^-^

Ah well.

           Today, I went out with Mag Jumana and Myra to do Manicure. And i ended up doing both mani and pedi, just like everyone else. Haha. I hate to admit, i had fun, it was quite intruiging, and i catch myself staring at my nails every once so often. Opps. So much for the tomboy Hannah.

           Well, guess i’ve come through. I’m 16 going on 17. If i dont turn into a lady now, then when? Besides, i may never find friends like Jumana Mag and Myra that throw me into the world of fashion and force me out of my ruggard shell. Haha. (: Thanks girls. I really do appreciate it. It must be really hard. Hehe.

            Anyway. I got my heels for prom. And i really thank God for my prom. (: A great way to end the glorious years i have had in Fairfield. I know God loves me. (: Haha. God really prepared everything for me for this prom. From the dress to the shoes to the nails to the makeup to the hair.. EVERYTHING! And i really must thank my parents, esp my mum for helping me to get all the stuff, paying and all with no complaint. Thanks mum and dad for willing to go the extra distance to make me beautiful. (: Indeed, Girlfriend, you are a B.A.B.E!

            You must probably be wondering what the last line meant. I’ll share it another time. (: It was my path of restoration that i want to share, even as i chew on this book that i borrowed. (: and something i think every girl in the world needs to read and believe in. Because you will never feel secure with who you are, until you see yourself, truely, through the eyes of God. (:

             Which also explains why im not so open to make up, nor am i bothering so much about my weight or size. My only motivation to lose weight is to be more flexible as an athlete. Other than that, i eat like a pig, as most of you already know. (: Im confident in who i am because i know that i am loved by not just the perople around me, but most of all, by the Lord God my Father, and Jesus, the Son of God. And to top it off, how can i not be beautiful when the Holy SPirit dwells in my heart? Would he not choose a place that is perfect? (: I am Big, Bronzed, and Beautiful. And proud of it. (: 

              Monday, i received my O level results. I didnt get my 7 distinctions, i didnt get my below 10. I was quite devastated because i expected so much more. I didnt cry becuase i felt i didnt do well, i cried because i felt that i had let myself down. I had not lived up to the expectation i had set for myself, i did not hit my mark. And for that, i was utterly upset. and i couldnt help but cry. It is only, and normal phenomenum.

               Although to most, my results are really incredible, but i felt it did not justify the work that i had put into the Os. And that, to me, was disappointing. But i did not doubt the Lord, nor was i worried about the future. I was merely disappointed.

So. My results were as such:
English- B3
Chinese- C5
Emath- A1
Amath- A2
SS/GEOG- A1
Physic- A2
Biology- A2
Chemistry- A2
CCA- A1 (Would have been a joke if i didnt. Haha. x) )

L1R5- 11
with bonus- 9

                 Yupp. Nevertheless, i still want to thank God becaues i guess it would have been worse with him. And ive done my best and handed the rest to the Lord, and if that was the results he wants to bless me with, then i accept it with thanksgiving in my heart, thanking the Lord for all that he has given me, and for all that he had granted me during my studies. (: 

                   The day after i went for ACJC open house. Was planning to meet my friends and have fun and spend time tgt, and go out with jumana and Myra, and also support Mag’s first performance for ACJC, BUT, everything didnt quite work out that way. Haha. I ended up accompanying Adriel, went to support mag, then school tour with some peeps, special mentions to our tour guide Julian and Russel! Dramma boy. Yupp. Then went to check out Poly with Adriel. well, i wouldnt have minded going to the poly, actually. HAhahaha. The courses are quite awesome and the food is GREAT! I had free dinner. ahhh… It tasted so good… ^-^ ANYWAY. The view and wind there is TOTALLY AWESOME too! I was remininsing the old days at PHPPS and Toh Yi as i looked at it from the top level of the building… It was so awesome… (: Ah well.

                 Oh yes. Sis Grace and Bro Vic got married! Congrats to them! May they have a great marriage and a happy marriage and many many kids! x)

Ah well.
Thats all for now, folks.
Tune in next time to:
HANNAH’S BLABBER!

Ciao!

This is a song i came across today.
It stuck my heart real deep.
I encourage you to hear it, and allow God to speak to you too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rASgRzgUy50&feature=related

Why
by Nichole Nordeman

We rode into town the other day,
just me and my daddy.
he said I’d finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course, was not quite as wild.

We heard a crowd of people shouting,
and so we stopped to find out why.
There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes.

So I said, “Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows.
Daddy please, can’t you do something?
He looks as though He’s gonna cry.
You said He was stronger than all of those guys;
Daddy, please tell me why.
Why does everyone want Him to die?”

Later that day, the sky grew cloudy,
and Daddy said I should go inside.
Somehow he knew things would get stormy.
Boy was he right, but I could not keep from wondering
if there was something he had to hide.

So after he left, I had to find out.
I was not afraid of getting lost.
So I followed the crowds to a hill
where I knew men had been killed,
and I heard a voice come from the cross.

And it said, “Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my robe?
This crown of thorns hurts me more than it shows.
Father please, can’t you do something?
I know that You must hear my cry.
I thought I could handle a cross of this size.
Father, remind me why.
Why does everyone want me to die?
Oh, when will I understand why?”

My precious son, I hear them screaming.
I’m watching the face of the enemy beaming.
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus, this hurts me much more than you know,
but this dark hour, I must do nothing,
though I’ve heard your unbearable cry.
The power in your blood destroys all of the lies;
soon you’ll see past their unmerciful eyes.
Look, there below, see the child
trembling by her father’s side.
Now I can tell you why…
she is why you must die.

I just read something quite disturbing about me on someone’s blog.

But I’d like to make my own stand as a declaration to all, to God, and to myself:

Above all,
I choose to EDIFY.

Hey all!

Once agin, i havent uploaded. HAHA.
But anyway. 

              Last sat i had cell. And i was supposed to lead Gell. Well, Glorify was supposed to be led by Samuel and Desmond, but cos samuel told desmond too last minute, desmond had no idea how to play the songs. So i somehwat volunteered. Hey. I can play anything on the guitar, except its in G only.

              Well, That is when im at my high guitar playing season.

               Rats.

              To cut things short, i made a  fool out of myself. Playing so horribly and wrong chords and just no spirit. Man, it sucked. I used to be able to do it so well! LEading in fun jams with a guitar with christal ann and peeps… Man… Wat happened?

              Honestly, i felt sooooo embarrased throughout the rest of the day i didnt feel like opening up and all. Infact i felt very disengaged throughout the day cos of my embarrasement.

              But the Lord spoke to me and convicted me of my feelings. He told me to use it as my motivation to grow in that area, and that mistake was intentional. He wanted me to see how much i could do on my own, which was making a fool of myself, and how much he wants me to grow in that area of leading- with a guitar.

               I understood what God meant, and i asked the Lord- God, i ask for a breakthrough in my worship leading.

And i have decided to work hard on honing the guitar and leading skills. I realised, i can only play the guiaar well, when i sincerely worship God.

God, help.

To my dear faithful and disappointed readers yet again…

SORRY! HAhahahaa.
I really havent been able to find to time to update my blog.
Things have just been happening way way way too fast!

From bidding fairfield goodbye, to bidding my year goodbye, to welcoming the new sec 1s, to welcoming my new crazy training life, to trying to find time for myself.
Man.
I live in one crazy world.

         Well… I’de like to talk about thmy new training with VJ right now. There’s like so many things running through my mind iw ish i had all the time in the world to share it with you. But i cant cos well… Im too busy and too lazy. Haha. VJ training is MADNESS, okay. Omg… 4 hrs a day… siao beh. i feel so tired and worn out after each VJ training. And having a VJ training the day after a hardcore Haoyi Training is just.. madness. I definately dont look forward to VJ training, but i still try to get my butt there nevertheless.

         My motivation- ASIAN YOUTH CHAMPIONSHIPS. I tell you, i freak the moment i think about it. Its in JUNE-JULY! O. MY. GOODNESS!!! No time to train!!! So i have to give it my all as much as i dont want to. Its hard. Really hard. And at VJ, its even harder.

          Whenever i go to VJ, i really miss Haoyi’s training. His endless blabbering, Jing’s endless rubbish with everyone around, Joanne’s silliness that cracks me up all the time, my freedom to do silly stuff and know im still loved by the ppl around. I feel like im away from my family. And i feel sad. Though im getting to know the VJ ppl, they intimidate me cos they’re like doing almost the same weights as me! For some excercises, they ARE doing the same weights as me. And that scares me cos i know if thats the case, they would almost be at my distance, and that would mean- Competition.

           Although they say im scary, im kind of intimidated by them. aye. So much for being an intimidater. The secret is- Believe in yourself and hide the intimidation away. I cant say some stuff that i really feel cos i think its not right to display it outwardly, but i just dont feel as comfortable there as i do in gombak. I miss my throwing family. I miss everyone.

            Council farewell was super fun. But it was way too short. The food was super good. French crepes and pizza- THE BEST! And the company was even better. But the event lasted too short.  

             Even as i talk about all these now… I feel really sad. I feel so distant from everything i love. Everything that made my world once now seems so far away. My old school is changing so much, i really cant stand the new changes made. It makes Fairfield seem so much more alien than the home it was supposed to be. My time in fairfield has moulded a great part of me and made me who i am. It is intergrated into my character, into who i am. And i feel really sad to have to leave it all behind. The familiar faces i see everyday, the familiar ppl i hang out with… Moving on in the new year, it may be hard to adapt… But the Lord has called and i will follow- to a destiny greater than myself.

             I once told God that the destiny he had given to me was too big for one woman to handle. But then he said that it wasnt too big for one woman and one God to handle. Infact, i came across this phrase recently:
      “When you feel you’re inadequate, it means you are ready to see the power of God. For it is in your inadequateness that God can use his power”

             Or something along that line.

             Sigh… It still is hard for me to let go of the great past and victories that i have had in fairfield. The many things that i have experienced and been through. The amazing friends that have walked into my life and the amazing things and breakthroughs ive been through. And its all about to end officially soon. With the coming results and prom… Im really sad to leave it all behind. No words can express how i feel right now. Its just.. wow.

            But nevertheless. I must. For the Lord has called me to places i cant see. And to ppl i cant reach. A destiny greater than myself awaits me. But in God, no destiny is too great for me to walk in.

Lord, i trust in you.

When i am down
And O my soul so weary
When trials come
And my heart burdened be
Then i am still
And wait here in the silence
Until you come
And sit awhile with me

You raise me up
So i can stand on mountains
You raise me up
To walk on stormy seas
I am strong
When i am on your shoulders
You raise me up
To more than i can be

            I am fearful and grieved. But i look not to man, but to God.